4 comments«1»Anonymous readerReport 2009-03-14 21:05:49good job, better with drawing out the scenes. 4 comments«1»Anonymous readerReport 2009-03-14 21:05:49good job, better with drawing out the scenes. XXX The idea of the story is good, but you need more of a turn into the content. The idea of the story is good, but you need more of a turn into the content. Right now, you have these ridiculous change ups that are kind of hard to swallow.«1» Slow down and don’t worry if you don’t two of the main characters in the same part, unless they are in the scene.Anonymous readerReport 2008-11-22 03:55:11still need to slow it down a bit… you get caught up in the moment then hurry to get it over with…
