If you get your spelling right, and even more important, break up your paragraphs a whole lot more, you will have a winnerREADERReport 2007-02-07 17:11:08sounds good man but run it through a spell check, grammer check, and try and do somethin about punctuation and run-ons. Xxx video more chapters please.READERReport 2007-02-11 23:09:19sexyREADERReport 2007-02-09 02:03:42Keep it going I cant wait for more,READERReport 2007-02-07 19:39:53Good story, can’t wait for the next chapter. 8 comments«12»READERReport 2008-04-14 02:51:32Good job. other then that i really want to know whats gonna happen next«12» other then that i really want to know whats gonna happen next«12» other then that i really want to know whats gonna happen next«12» If you get your spelling right, and even more important, break up your paragraphs a whole lot more, you will have a winnerREADERReport 2007-02-07 17:11:08sounds good man
