So lets see if he gets to fuck all the girl on a big sleepoveranonymous readerReport 2013-04-09 18:34:57You move from past to present tense.djb8247Report 2013-04-09 17:21:11too much chatter and not enough action,taking too long to get father and daughter together,and repetious scenes,reasonable effort, score 4 out if 10anonymous readerReport 2013-04-09 15:05:08TOO SHORT OF A STORY: YOU TITILLATED ME, FINE BUT WHERE’S THE CLIMAX? OH, IN THE 2ND OR 4TH CHAPTER?«1» OH, IN THE 2ND OR 4TH CHAPTER?«1» OH, IN THE 2ND OR 4TH CHAPTER?«1» Actually the short chapters work great for me because I read
during lunch breaks on iphone. XXX So lets see if he gets to fuck all the girl on a big sleepoveranonymous readerReport 2013-04-09 18:34:57You move from past to present tense.djb8247Report 2013-04-09 17:21:11too much chatter and not enough action,taking too long to get
